Friday 28 May 2010

Emotional Day

Phew, Yesterday, what a day.

Im not really sure why, but was just a bad, bad day. Work was very busy and with my collegue on Annual leave i was doing 2 peoples work. Then the transport was delayed and in general i was feeling very low about baby making. It have been a whole year since we have been trying, i was kinda hoping by now i would have a baby or be heavily pregnant! Then to rub it in i saw the cutest little girl sat in the pushchair that i dream of having one day! Not good. Felt like crying most of the day. Im not sure if its the northisterone that is making it worse!

My hubby went to give his sample again today. He has been on wellman vits for 3 months now, to see if they make any improvment to the quality. Fingers crossed because if nothing is improved then it may be the IVF route for us. But we will know in 6 weeks when we have his follow up appointment. Its going to be a long 6 weeks i think.

I havent been to the gym this week, which i am really annoyed at. Its been a busy week with other personal matters not connected to PSOC. Im will be back next week though. I think monday calls for swim.

Update soon
xxHELENxx

Monday 24 May 2010

OMG, i haven't updated in forever! I didn't realise i have followers either! Hello! Thank you for reading my boringness lol.

So, Whats going on with the PCOS? Well, i went to my follow up gynae appt. I had lost 3kg, which i thought was pretty good. She has also out me on northesiterone, so i can stop bleeding and get some regular cycles for my dye x ray test.
It is soo nice to not be bleeding. After almost constant bleeding all year, and recently a few heavier more painful bleeds (ended up in A&E begging for stronger pain killers!!! Was that bad) its a nice break. But i have been warned, the first bleed after taking northestirone for 3 weeks will be painful and heavy! Great!
I have been a bit up and down with the gym recently. I have been going, but dragging myself. I have stopped going to gym classes as i always feel so awkward and look like a fat whale trying to move! I hate the fact the room where you have the classes is all mirrored walls. I don't want to look at myself looking like an idiot thank you. I also don't feel comfortable if there are men in the classes too, or skinny women that wear tiny hot pants. Its gross! I have been thinking of trying curves, which is some kinda of women only gym. I will enquire at the weekend.
A close friend of my hubby (his best man) had a baby girl on Monday. Well not him, but his wife. Again that little bit of jealousy kicked in, but i am trying to be more positive. Its not fair to be jealous of other people! All babies are miracles. Its just even worse when you see pregnant ladies staggering down the street with a can of strongbow in their hands! That was sickening. Poor baby.
End of June we should get the low down on whats going on with my hubby's side of things. It will either be yes, we can think about the clomid or no its not worth it IVF for you. I really am not looking forward to it. I am too overweight for IVF on the NHS, and in most private clinics. I certainly wont be able to afford more than 1 cycle privately and i really don't like the idea of IVF, the whole injecting your self and waiting for the Positive or negative. Not sure if i could really cope with it! Adoption may be a route for us. But i really want to bring a child up from as young as possible. But i will have to see what the docs say before i start writing the situation off for now!!
Thank you for reading